reading Catherine Lim's novella, Leap of Love, i finally found that underlying problem that has been around for eons. why was it that i had never really fallen in love. why was it that i keep some people at bay. why was it that men don't mean much to me in the romantic sense. finally, i found the problem.

Hers was a love, nurtured to fullness, in search of a lover. She had to fall in love with love, before she could fall in love with a person.

i need to fall in love with love.