how can one pair of legs walk two paths?
i wish to see the road ahead merge soon. or in another way, take a detour. anything for one focused path. i want it soon. fast. swift.

i'm not tired. yet. indeed, enjoyment, maybe.
i guess i just need,
need,
some form of security? a stability where change, the way i want it, is a constant.

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kinda missing some people in my life now. you go through days of full-fledged work and play and sometimes you take short, quiet moments to just pause and watch the world goes round. and you realise no matter where you are, you take with you the people who had touched your life, people who cared enough (ok maybe not), to leave their footprints on your stretch of beach.

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i'm busy, i'm happy. but as i continue, i am conscious that all that effort contributes to something that is short term. blame my streak of perfectionism. let's just say i've reach the point where i'd truly rather all that time and effort is being spent a plan that i'm willing to make long term.

i feel like i'm stuck at a bus stop, with the destination somewhere ahead. i see it, but it seems to be a slight blurry. in the meantime, i boarded some buses, enjoyed more scenery, gained more exposure. yet i boarded these buses knowing they don't ply the road to my destination. to pass time. a by-the-way thing, in anticipation of that one rare bus.

i'm busy, i'm happy.
but do i have true, pure joy?
no.

anticipating that one bus to travel that one main road to that one destination.

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and i realise,
i miss me.